Theme Week #15

Choice #4 Week 15.Write about yourself as a writer--hopes and dreams, strengths and weaknesses, ambitions and failures; reactions to the semester, what changed for better or worse in your writing; course experiences, problems, positives.

The first time I sat at my keyboard squaring off to face the first assignment for this course I had some trepidation.  I knew that I was competent at writing research papers, analytical papers, even short essays if I really focused myself, but I was unsure at my ability to write engaging creative pieces that were based on myself and my life.  Many, many times I have sat and discussed things in my life ending the story with "If I wrote a book, no one would believe it true!" because as we all know, fact is stranger than fiction in most cases.  It is one thing to sit and tell a story to someone, catching their eye or smirking to emphasize the sarcasm - but to write it down in black and white I had lost those basic tools of communication.  Practicing, learning, and yes even being pushed outside my comfort zone, has made me feel more capable and empowered me to write more confidently and creatively than I was able to before. 

In the back of my mind I have always thought that I would like to write a big story.  I always seem to daydream a bit while I am driving into town and those moments I think that I really should write them down sometime.  My issue with writing a big story is direction - I don't have a starting point.  I read big books, short books, different series of books, over and over and think that I could do that.  BUT then I think, those people had an idea, they had a starting point that they were solid on before they built this character world around it, and I just don't have that starting point.  One of the great things about this course is that it gave me that starting point, those prompts to kickstart my brain in some sort of direction.  There have also been times that I managed to kickstart my creativity all by myself, and jotted down some short stories in my new writing journal. 

There are a few in there by now, different places, people, and ideas - little pieces of what could potentially become their own little worlds, but still far from that point.  I add to a bit here and there to those stories, I may be mulling one of them over in my mind while I am folding laundry or doing dishes and stop to add another little fragment.  I think of them like puzzles.  I have three or four going, and every once in a while I will add a piece or two to one of them.  Perhaps eventually I will have a whole puzzle done, a complete picture where you can see all of the parts and colors.  Until then, I have learned to enjoy working on them, building on them a little at a time for fun, and learned that the goal is not the completed puzzle but the enjoyment and satisfaction that I get from finding those pieces.

On a personal note, John, thank you so much for you patience and encouragement.  There were times when I was, pleasantly, surprised at your reactions to my writing, and your comments and constructive criticism helped me as the writer, to understand more about the reader's perspective.  I look forward to next semester more than I anticipated I would, and who knows, maybe I will have a few more pieces fit in the puzzle.